Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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