Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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