Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
