operation harelip BJ is a go
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
