I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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