New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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