i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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