I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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