when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize