smell my finger.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
