Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
