It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
