He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
