Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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