She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We are two peas in an std pod
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
