no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
