Where is the hickey?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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