she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
