You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
