OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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