Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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