You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
