this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
