I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
