At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
