VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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