Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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