You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
