batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize