why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
