i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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