Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
