Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
