Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
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