i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
babies were throwing up all over the place
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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