My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
