Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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