Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
