why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize