You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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