I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
