He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dick very happy bro
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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