How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
