the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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