i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize