do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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