I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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