I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
