And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
