Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i don't like sucking hair
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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