Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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