i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
