I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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