the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
