Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
