it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
