To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
