I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize