Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
