His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
