That's intense
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
