going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
