Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
