If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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