By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
one might say we're banned from that church
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
