So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
