We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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